Self-Same/No Escape / by The Black Lex Luthor

Another one from long ago...

Just as I stagger in, seems like I’m staggering alone
Just seems lonely as I smile ‘cause they know I’m a regular
Charles is familiar and I’m more than proud to say I’m back
And there she is with a shied grin, black pumps waving
And there she is with her hair pulled back and a red pencil skirt
And she, never looking but I want them to look, I want them
They should visit the new me in fashionable attire, crisp new jeans
A mean New York cap and coke and vodka in a plastic cup
I am abrupt and tattered dealing my face like a deck of cards
So someone’s fancy can jump free of the ground
Still sulking in one spot, one shot down gazing in amazement
At a crowded frenzy of blinded lies I am making friends with images
Knowingly bludgeoning my wits against a wall of recidivism

If God had designed the underlying mechanisms to regenerate
He would have made a failsafe, a secret place of escape
I want them to know my urge to hold my thoughts in their hands
All the twinkles of my stars as the hourglass drains of sand

Here I am again, a bustling drunkard minus friends
Shuffling in expensive shoes with no ends to lend, laughing
At stories of hollow conquests, little hedonist hopes throwing my
Input into the fray, throwing my love like a baseball, then fouled away
Steadying upon a stump of associates crashing their names in my head
I don’t remember names well enough, but faces stay painted
And in my fingers I fix a playing theme, I have traced the lines a hundred times
Escape is never to be had, and I know, I know there is no walking around it

There is sound that pulses like light through the dark, hanging like a halo
My God should be angry, my whimpers swallowed and subdued,
I never ask Him when I should, “My Lord, what must I do?”
The night is not an answer, it is only a clue

The roses seem brighter here, but how is that true?
Even with another destination, there is always you
Even in another place, you will remain.
There is no escape. Your self is the same.