Building / by The Black Lex Luthor

Relationships, man. They need to be cultivated. I am now realizing how I am lacking in my relational devotion to my family and friends. Lot of times I think it’s because of how I was raised, you know? My mother showed a lack of interest in most of what I did, even though I was a high achiever in school. She didn’t really show the kind of enthusiasm most parents would, but she showed her approval in different ways. But I wonder if those ways have stunted my growth as the type of person I need (and God needs) me to be?

I guess I shouldn’t dwell on that. I have made it through a lot. But I seem to shy away from the support others give me, or I don’t show the support I need to show to them. It’s like I have that same mentality that my mom had, and that hurts. I should be able to be better, for I know what I went through and how things were somewhat of a detriment to me. How can I be better?

I ask God for direction. I ask him to help me understand myself and why I am the way I am. Still, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand. Maybe that’s what it’s supposed to be like, anyway? Maybe God wants me to work and reach out and close those gaps that I have worked too long to widen.

I was with my friend Antonio at a release party for a local record label who just acquired a distribution deal from Universal Records. We spent a big part of the night waiting around just so he could talk to this label exec. When he finally did talk to him, the conversation might have lasted 5 minutes. Yet, my friend was satisfied, saying that the contact was crucial to his future endeavors.

As sleepy and tired as I was, I understood exactly what he meant. Who knows what that next relationship or contact could mean to your future? Don’t you owe it to yourself to at least reach out and risk giving a part of yourself, regardless of the possibility of rejection? I think so.


Stay sane and remember where your help comes from. Build your relationship with Jesus, first and foremost, then you may find that it comes a little easier to build them with others.